Monday, June 8, 2015

"Ask Not"

After much prayer and reflection, and with the counsel of my friends, family, and rabbi, I hereby announce my candidacy for the Republican nomination for President of the United States. Why not? Everybody else and George Bush's brother is running, so I figure I have at least as good a chance as half the field of already declared candidates- and I'm not under federal indictment. You can't say as much for Governors Chris Christie, Rick Perry, and Scott Walker. Both federal and state prosecutors continue to investigate Christie for his role in the "Bridgegate" scandal while rumors of an email trail that implicate the governor have surfaced. Rick Perry is potentially facing one hundred and nine years, for two counts of felony abuse of power, after attempting to coerce a district attorney to resign. So far, Perry's efforts to have the charges dismissed have been denied twice by Republican judges. Wisconsin prosecutors accuse Governor Walker of being part of a "wide-ranging scheme" of illegal fundraising. The same accusations have recently arisen over Governor Bush's coy, "I'm not yet a candidate" scam. After Bush declares, he can no longer personally ask for money- yet he's acting like a candidate who's using the asinine Citizens United decision to try and purchase the presidency. There's an obvious joke about the White House vs. the Big House in here somewhere.

I've avoided politics ever since high school student government associations, but last night, I had a dream in which the Archangel Gabriel whispered in my ear that it was my destiny to be president. Of course, Ted Cruz's traveling preacher dad said that God told him the same thing about his boy, so someone is confused here. In fact, several people are confused about the Almighty's participation in American politics. Cruz said, "God isn't done with America yet. That is why...I am running for president." But Rick Perry said, "I truly believe with all my heart that God has put me in this place at this time to do his will." Actually, Perry said that in 2012, so you'd think he'd get the hint. Dr. Ben Carson said that "I feel (the) fingers" of God prodding his candidacy. But Scott Walker said, "We (I) want to make sure that, not only are we (I) hearing from the people, but we (I) want to discern that this is God's calling." Marco Rubio attends a fundamentalist mega-church that demands employees sign a declaration stating that they've never been in a gay relationship- then, he goes to Catholic mass on Sundays. And this is to say nothing of religious zealots Rick Santorum and Mike Huckabee. Either a whole bunch of people are lying, insane, or else God is goofing on the Republican candidates. Say what you will about Hillary- she never declared the Deity's blessing to be upon her. I, however, have been blessed by the order of Christian Brothers, Reverend Tom Patton, Rabbi James Wax, a Hindu "saint" in India, and a Muslim cleric in Israel. Now, who's best qualified?

Since a handful of billionaires now own American politics, all you need to stay in the race is one. Casino magnate Sheldon Adelson is leaning toward Marco Rubio. Rick Santorum is backed for the second time by mutual-fund zillionaire Foster Friess. The Koch oil barons tipped their greasy hand to Scott Walker. And Woody Johnson, heir to the Johnson & Johnson company is backing Bush. This is more exciting than the Belmont Stakes. They often call politics a "horse race," but in this case, each candidate has their own jockey. Mere millionaires are whining for access, while former Philadelphia Eagles owner Norman Braman is planning to spend between ten and twenty-five million "Washingtons" on Marco Rubio alone. I'm certain that Hillary's war chest will overflow as well, but who have the Democrats got- communists like George Soros, or hedge-fund magnate Tom Steyer, whose tree-hugging causes fund radical-leftist politicians. If I can just convince one patriotic  billionaire that I hate Obamacare but love Israel, I could take this all the way to the GOP convention.
I could also raise a lot of untraceable money along the way, which begs the question: Why are so many guaranteed losers running for President? Why are George Pataki, Carly Fiorina, Lindsey Graham, John Kasich, and Donald Trump even running?

Trump is obviously a vanity candidate who does it for his ego and to promote "The Apprentice," the most wonderful show that's ever been on television. A few claim that they are in the race to promote certain views, like Rick Santorum's theory that America is under attack by Satan. The rest are auditioning for lucrative commentator chairs on Fox News- or perhaps their own radio show, or book deal. Some are jockeying for a future cabinet position in a fantasy Republican administration. But mostly, it's this endless funnel of dark money that bankrolls ideological figureheads for more sinister concerns. Since no one is accountable, who's counting? Now that the mob has been chased out of Las Vegas, politics is the new skim. If a dollar is missing here or there, who's to know? Which is why I am unveiling my own Ultra-Conservative, Pro-Gun, God-Fearing Super-PAC- the UCPGGF- and I am asking you for pledges of just a few dollars a day to support my campaign to stop immigration, restore God to the classroom, end taxes, and return this great nation to its rightful owners- the Inuit.




6 comments:

  1. Vote for me and I'll set you free

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  2. No One@Nowhere.comJune 12, 2015 at 7:10 AM

    Rap onnnnnnn, brothah, rap on...Nobody's interested in learning but the teacher.

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  3. When I look into American politics I get visions of swimming nude through an ocean of liquified excrement. It is all a shell game controlled by the Money Power. Why waste the time? It is either vote for Tweedle-Dum or Tweedle-Dee. Either way the people get screwed. Maybe you should push for a Second American Revolution so that we can start over. But, I am cynical enough to believe that even if that occurred and we started anew, in time we would wind back up in the ocean of excrement...lorded over by the Money Power. The little guy seems to be doomed to an eternity of being jived by a bunch of self-seeking hustlers who pretend to be concerned about them. Or else being subjected to mass genocide. Some choice.

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  4. Quote by Lincoln after the passage of the National Banking Act of 1863..."The money power preys upon the nation in times of peace and conspires against it in times of adversity (never let a crisis go to waste). It is more despotic than monarchy, more insolent than autocracy, and more selfish than bureaucracy. I see in the near future a crisis approaching that unnerves me and causes me to tremble for the safety of my country. Corporations have been enthroned, an era of corruption in high places will follow, and the money power of the country (actually of the world) will endeavor to prolong its reign by working upon the prejudices of the people (Marxist dialectic) until the wealth is aggregated in a few hands (the Super-Capitalists a.k.a. the Global Money Power) and the republic is destroyed". Pretty prescient, huh? But, go ahead with your Donkey vs Elephants game. It gives you something to do while the real danger encroaches. What's that? You say that the Democrats will save us? Ha, ha, ha! Both political parties are controlled by the Money Power. This will be proved when Jeb Bush is nominated as the Republican candidate. Jeb and Hillary are both controlled by the Money Power. The 2016 elections will be a Hobson's Choice. For that matter, so have all of the presidential elections at least since the beginning of the 20th century. But, I'm wasting my time...go back to sleep.

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  5. Over the years, many folks of a conservative bent have wondered why the Right is never able to gain ground on the Left, especially since America is supposed to be a right-of-center nation. The Left now wields political supremacy and the trend does not seem to be letting up. The author of the article at the link at the end of this comment has a tenable answer to this dilemma within the conservative camp. He contends that the Right has been subverted by the Left and in effect stealthily working with the Left. If true, this would explain the situation and show that the Right and Left are actually one hand washing the other. The author contends that this subversion is the doing of Communist infiltrators. I contend that the Communists are a creation of the Super-Capitalists and that both Left and Right are engaged in good cop/bad cop political theater to dupe the inconceivably ignorant public. Also, if this is true, you guys can stop freaking out over the Republicans and rest assured that they are in fact ultimately on your side. You can sit back and watch the drama unfold in assurance that your side has already won. You can divert your time and energies to other issues...like how to cope with the coming genocide once the mask comes off of the globalist scammers..."Please allow me to introduce myself..." Read and see what you think...http://www.therightplanet.com/the-empire-of-lies-part-ii-the-lie-at-the-foundation-of-todays-right/

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  6. If you are not at the globalists' table, you are on the menu. One of the current plans on their menu is to fundamentally transform America through immigration and refugee resettlement. The plan is simple, change the demographics of America and you change America. Currently this is being accomplished by the government's open borders policy and by the global UN Refugee Resettlement Program. For Obama's part he has chosen 190 American cities in which to 'seed' mostly Muslim refugees and then to 'water' this seed with copious welfare. In addition, he has a plan to export the inner city to the suburbs. His administration is studying the demographics of every city and town in the country. Every area that is deemed to be too white, or too prosperous will receive denizens from the inner city ghettos, immigrants and refugees to rectify this 'problem'. The net result will be to transform America into a coast-to-coast Third World ghetto... the Progressive utopia in which all will equally share in poverty, misery, and ignorance. Actually, this is the globalists' plan for the entire Earth. There will be the governing 'elite' living in opulence and the masses of human cattle living in squalor. Those who attempt to change this system will be eliminated (surveillance will eventually be absolute). Do the Progressives care nothing for their progeny? Maybe they have all been duped by the globalists' lies about the glory of their coming one world 'paradise'. When all power is centralized, this absolute power will corrupt absolutely. It is much more likely that a Hitler will rule rather than a Mary Poppins. Has everyone forgotten history?

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