Thinning The Herd

We Americans are about as dumb as we want to be. With one and a half million cases of the coronavirus 
confirmed in the U.S. and covid-related deaths approaching 80,000, many states began re-opening private businesses and public places, and the populace emerged from their homes with a vengeance. In Memphis, when Mayor Strickland's "Safer at Home" executive order expired on May 5th, shoppers packed grocery stores, desperately searching for toilet paper and baby wipes, while complaints piled up over people neither wearing masks or social distancing, especially in the bleach and disinfectant aisle. In Ft. Worth, TX, police responded to a call that five people were shot at a party in a public park that drew over 600 people. In Arkansas, hair salons, barber shops, tattoo and massage parlors will open this week, while at the federal prison across the river in Forrest City, three hundred  one inmates and fourteen staff members have tested positive. In Jacksonville, FL, crowds jammed beaches despite the mayor's directive limiting gatherings to ten people. Officials in Boca Raton tweeted images of crowded boat parties while Florida Governor Ron DeSantis announced that municipalities should "feel free" to begin opening parks and beaches, only to "Do it in a good way. Do it in a safe way." Crowds in California continue to jam beaches and parks, defying the governor's orders to shelter-in-place. In Flint, MI, a security guard at a Family Dollar store was murdered by a disgruntled customer who took offense at the guard's insistence that a young girl put on a face mask in accordance with a state order And we haven't yet begun to mention the churches.

The Life Tabernacle Church in Central, LA, while cases in the state spiked, held services for over 550 parishioners because the pastor proclaimed the virus "is not a concern. The virus, we believe, is politically motivated." Over at the River Church in Tampa, FL, Pastor Rodney Howard-Browne was arrested after defying repeated orders to not hold services at his mega-church during the state's stay-at-home regulations. The good pastor, one of many Christian leaders who laid hands on the president during a prayer session in the Oval Office, told his congregation that the pandemic was of less concern than the flu and announced that "The whole thing is planned...to shut down Christianity." He also told his flock that God would replenish their toilet paper, and I wish that were a joke. Closer to home, the Cleburne County Church in Greer's Ferry, AR held a children's event in late March, after which thirty-four people tested positive for the coronavirus, including the pastor and his wife. If evangelicals insist on live-attendance church services, I'm sure the Lord will provide.

The newest viral hotspot is in the White House. Trump's personal valet has tested positive for Covid-19. This is the same guy who serves the president his food and yet, still, the Mad King refuses to wear a face mask for fear that it would make him look ridiculous. This would rank about 12th on the list of things that make Trump look ridiculous. A mask would only help. Press Secretary to Vice President Pence, Katie Miller, has also tested positive for coronavirus, yet Pence continues on his way, unmasked and mingling. Ms. Miller is also the wife of White House ghoul and architect of the "brown children in cages" policy, Stephen Miller. Ordinarily, I would not wish personal harm on anyone, but in this case an exception is warranted. Miller tested negative, which is expected of bloodless vampires. The only thing that could harm him is a wooden stake. The New York Times has reported that some senior White House officials believe the disease is already spreading through the offices in the West Wing. Two prominent doctors on the coronavirus task force are in self-quarantine after attending a meeting with Ms. Miller. Everybody else at the meeting is still showing up to work. Our own beloved senior senator and expedient convert to the dark side, Lamar Alexander, is in voluntary-quarantine after a member of his staff tested positive.

Our churlish president continues on his singular quest to reopen every KFC in the country despite the best advice of his experts. A recently leaked White House internal document, assembled by FEMA, projects deaths reaching three thousand a day by June 1st- a 70% increase from current numbers. The often-quoted University of Washington model projects 135,000 Americans dead from the coronavirus through the first of August- more than double the forecast from mid-April. When the country needs factual information more than ever, the squatter in the White House has forbidden any officials on the Coronavirus Task Force from testifying before Congress without the express approval of new Chief of Staff and former chairman of the House Freedom Caucus, Mark Meadows. Currently in Shelby County, there are over three thousand confirmed cases and sixty-four deaths from Covid-19. The virus is raging through nursing homes and jails while the 'essential employees" of these facilities fan out into their respective communities after extreme working conditions. And yet some people still believe the coronavirus, as the president said, is "a hoax." Personally, we're not going anywhere until summer, or when medical experts tell us it's safe to visit patients in the hospital again. On a positive note, Carnival Cruises will resume their excursions in August and I understand tickets are a real bargain.